my life. my dad. shirley. my ambition. and intern.

always been lazy to blog.
or there's too much for me to say,
but cldnt express them in words.
the urge to write them in blog
is just in a moment.
but gone when i had the chance to enter blogger.

*****************************************

seeing ur loved one being in torture
pain and helpless..
and cried over the fact that
he thinks he's a burden to us.

at this point, somehow
i feel that why not he just go
to free him from the sufferings
and guilt..
thou' it may be sad for us
but rather not to see him in such a state.

i pray for your recovery.
if miracle could happen to u..
i dont mind giving up few years of my life
just for you.

***************************************

somethings are easier said than done
verbally yarh, but actions wise
i tried, i believe we tried
but it is not as successful as you thot it to be.

things change.
its difficult for us to be wad we used to.
thou' the misunderstandings are clear overnight
but the awdwardness remains.
and it nvr seems to go away.

pretending, i cant master this skill
i cant be natural
yes, we tried maintaining the status.
but it turns out the different way we wanted it to.

i'm not jealous, or angry
or disappointed..
perhaps just sad for everything happened
between us.
i dont want to be the third party
thou' you two dont think it that way.

no matter how hard you try to balance it
it can nvr balance like it used to.
just like that day.
in kbox, songs that we always sing tgt
it will nvr the song for the both of us.
but the song for u and her.

kbox has only two mic.
just for two persons.
and the person with you will nvr be me again.
and i dont wish to take the mic too.
rather be an audience and enjoy the beautiful memory of each song.

another thing would be
it used to be i being the first person to know abt things.
but now, its no longer me
maybe u think that i am not interested
cos i didnt ask..
but all along you know me
that i dont ask.. if you wanna tell me things
u would. i need not question u.

rmb you saying these to me..
bout u being the first to know things.
and things change due to her.
but if u realise, those things that i didnt let you know first
were things about her.
i werent be stupid enuff
to say things abt her that will upset you.
or make u even have a worser impression of her..

but now the story has change.
its abt i'm not the first to know.
to know abt your life and pple revolve ard u.
perhaps one day someone can just ask me
"ohh.. so who is the friends she hanging out with these days.. "
i bet i couldnt answer. or i only have a answer.
"err.. i not abt the rest, but i know vic is"

like when u left for dubai
i rmb u telling me once that you leaving this week
but exact date i cldnt rmb
but did you remind me days before?
nope. all u did was a plain msg when u are in the plane,
when i'm asleep.
and u didnt state when u will be back..

perhaps i need not know anyway.
till today, there's no much communication..
bet you wouldnt know much of my life
and i wouldnt know much of yours too.
unless we frequent blog.

a question that i been pondering
are you just a passerby in my life?
make a few footsteps and has to make a move..
true enough.. till today, i still cant prove
the word, 'forever'.

the word we nvr believe in.
the word we dont like to say..
is still not in our dictionary.

******************************************

internship life been good.
thou' there's bad in it.
but having my own clique mate to pei me
being in the same company.
is not that bad.

we are able to tell our woes
and complaints to each other.
everyday. almost. haha!

site inspections at hotels are great!
free food in the restaurant
but embarrassing at times
for i'm picky over food.

my fellow colleagues, interns and superiors
and even hoteliers
know that i almost dont like to
eat alot alot of things. =x

stress at work, abit i feel.
for i nvr able to help my colleague to clear the emails
am i too slow. i wonder.
politics i hope i will not be in.
but eventually i know i have to.

not in intern company.
but in my dream job.
air stewardess, i aims to be.
i wanna try. thou' i might not make it.
but i really hope to get in.

to be able to fly to different countries.
the benefit, aww... *flying*
haha! i cant wait to get to fly. =)